Nice & Naughty
On the left? St. Mary’s heavenly treat. On the right? Lucifer’s Laptoppetite’s abomination of chocolate and diabetes. I just can’t help myself sometimes.
But, you know, it’s frozen yogurt — super healthy, right??
Yeeeahhh… That’s what I tell myself as I’m standing in line at Crackberry, trying (unsucsesfully) to control my salivary glands while feverishly pointing to every topping that even resembles chocolate. Wait, what? Would I like what on that? Fruit? What kind of GD question is that, young man? How dare you.
I just assume that somewhere hidden beneath my many layers of chocolate sprinkles and brownie bites and caramel and oreo cookie and hot fudge is a delicious AND nutritious frozen treat of the creamy, tart, magical, vitamin-rich variety.
When I first heard that Pinkberry was opening a D-town location, I could feel the heat rising. And not the hot/sexy kind of heat, either. You know what I’m talking about — the nervous, suffocating, crack-addict-needs-a-fix kind of heat. I thought to myself, “Great, just great. There goes my November car payment.” No joke. On my last trip to New York, I spent so much money on expiditions to various PB’s that I actually felt a little ashamed. And gassy. Gassy and ashamed. And if you remember just two things about me and nothing else, it’s that my stomach is basically an industrial garbage disposal, and that I have no sense of shame. Zero. Shameless.
Needless to say, I should start sending my rent checks to 5959 Royal Lane. Seriously. I don’t tell jokes. So damn you, Pinkberry. You send me home a broken woman and then have the audacity to move in to my neighborhood. Who’s shameless now, huh??
Oh God, I didn’t mean that. I take it all back. I love you Pinkberry. I’ll see you soon, keep my seat warm. XOXOXOXOXOXO
